Sustainable Life- My personal journey

Ever since I can remember I have felt that I had a mission to accomplish in this life, although I didn’t know what it was.

I’ve walked many roads, seen and done my fair share of things in life, the good, the bad and the ugly and at some point I had to stop to reach deep within… really really deep within to understand that I have always known what the “mission” is, I just forgot to get in touch with it when I was born and it took me a long time to access it again.

The mission is to LOVE, and I know this sounds very cliché but it’s one thing to know and understand that and a whole other thing to actually know in which particular way you  feel called to live that as a reality.

I am not a mathematic thinking type of person so I have trouble with sticking to the rules, although I like rules and value them, I am a wanderer, I can’t stay in the same place for too long, I can follow the rules just as long as they don’t suffocate me.

To LOVE although it might seem as a natural and simple thing to do, is actually a spiritual practice, you don’t get to love spontaneously if you don’t know what love is first, from your own self and this is alone is a quest that takes years to unravel, only to discover that your own self is non-existent and there lies your true freedom, peace and access to love.

After that acknowledgement then comes the practice, and this part is even more difficult,  some people are born with the conviction to devote themselves entirely to the service of others, thus becoming ordained in a religion or meditating until achieving illumination.

I am not one of them, although I am fascinated by the spiritual world, I can’t deal with all the rules of a religion, I forget them and it juts doesn’t seem natural for me to “do” so many things in order to “climb a step towards your spiritual goal” so to speak.

But I am also not happy with the status quo of humanity where it’s ok to not feel, to just accumulate “power”, money, popularity, body experiences, where it is taught to hate and fear all others just because they think or look different, I stand against that and I will never accept it nor choose it for my life.

So what’s left for all of us who are not comfortable devoting our talents to worldly pleasures and violent misconceptions but who are also not fitting into devoting our talents to strict spiritual practice and vowing for a belief?

Then comes the point where I finally get it, I am a human being in this vast universe with the privilege of living on a planet that has so much beauty, richness and goodness that no writer could have ever imagined, and not only do I live here, I am alive with it, she is here too, with all her knowledge, intuition, strength, power, vulnerability and never-ending LOVE.

All I need to know is here, and I already know it, I just need to listen and remember.

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Rieselfelder Münster, Germany. Photo Credit: Cristina Guerrero

If we would just listen… the Earth is the most amazing living being, from the tiniest micro-organism to the biggest animal, mountain or tree alive, we can’t even begin to resemble it, everything lives in harmony, everything has a purpose and a benefit, everyone fulfills their part in the circle of life (yes the Lion King knows about this stuff).

So for me personally, the way that I can be of any contribution to others is to LOVE all living beings, not just humans, not institutions, not countries, not any of these ideas, but to love our living, breathing, real planet and even though I might not be the type of explorer that can venture to live in a cave either, I feel that I can be a voice for the planet, a voice that needs to be heard in our present more than ever.

So I won’t get off the grid because that won’t serve my purpose, I will use this life, this here and now to balance it back, to come back to the Earth, to be that voice and find those other voices that also want to protect and serve the planet and all its living beings.

If anyone reading this resonates with this premise, contact me, you are not alone, changing the world is a daunting task, it is discouraging, it seems impossible, it’s hard, but that’s not the point, why lose our focus trying to fight the negative when we could use our energy and talents to create something positive? -Vince in bono malum-

Create the life you want in harmony with the planet, as a part of it all, flowing with it, not going against it, guarding and voicing what all other living beings deserve: LOVE.

A lot of people feel they need to turn to a very restrictive kind of lifestyle to do something for the planet and that is also dis-encouraging for the free spirits, for the creative that don’t like to be labeled, but I am also here to say, we are all unique and individual, for some people having a restrictive diet for example is the only way to serve the planet, but I personally have tried it and the only response I got from my body was…”not gonna happen” but that doesn’t mean that I don’t do what I can to support the ethics behind food, it doesn’t mean I am not conscious and grateful every time that I eat or that I support the exploitation of the environment caused by industrial food production (also it’s the opposite of healthy) so wouldn’t want to eat it anyways. So I am learning to eat from the Earth, seasonal, local, low-impact, just healthy in the full sense of the word.

A sustainable lifestyle is exactly that: SUSTAINABLE, it means that the actions you take today ensure there are means for this to continue in the future, and if you think about it it’s like a basic rule of politeness, leave the place better than how you found it, do what you do with respect for others.

In this case the others are the future generations, make sure you leave the same or more richness than what you are taking, and it only seems logical since most human beings have children, why wouldn’t you want them to enjoy the gift of life?

In other words, it’s a balance, you take and you give, you choose the best option for you as a part of the living planet and for your future you in every aspect of your life, spiritually, mentally, physically…etc.

And it is a process…there is a lot of frustration and fear of change out there, but allow yourself to take it slowly, REMEMBER: You don’t need to be perfect! Anything you have learned throughout your life has taken time, so take your time to do this, one action at a time, all you need is a positive heart.

Will you join me on this journey?

If you will, subscribe to this blog and let’s do it together!

With love,

Cristina G. S.

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Rieselfelder, Münster, Germany. Photo Credit: Falk von Freigeist

Relationships: The art of letting be

My most recurrent source of discomfort arises when I find myself trying to control what others do… specifically when it comes to my partner. Sounds familiar?

Maybe it’s the society I grew up in but when it comes to “adulthood and family life” I certainly have plans and standards. It’s like all my life I had been learning what to do and what not to do from my parents and other families around me and all that time my brain had secretly kept a whole file about how to do it when the time comes.

Well, now the time is here, I have met the person I chose to start this adventure with and now I am officially on this boat for the rest of my life…creating a family.

And as my ancestors before me, I have no idea of what I’m doing but I want to make the best out of it, does that make any sense?

Honestly it was never my dream as a little girl to get married and be a mom, I didn’t have baby dolls to care for when I was a child, on the contrary, I really enjoyed being cared for and when it came to playing with dolls, my barbies were not moms, they were always rich independent women… however the circle of life that moves us all and biology are following their course and although I have zero practice at being a parent I feel happy, excited and anxious about this new stage in life.

That being said, I am the kind of person that likes to have a plan and a clear ground to stand on so now that I’m transitioning from independent woman wanderer of the world to full time pillar of my own family… I want to have a route, a plan, a strategy.

In my experience dating was always a self-growth learning experience, maybe I am too practical in that way, but for me the “perfect person or soulmate” doesn’t really exist.

I believe a healthy relationship is one that empowers you and where you feel naturally willing to empower the other as well. So rather than finding a Prince Charming that is brave, rich and good looking (our early model of masculinity) it’s acknowledging that the person who you share the spark of the following ingredients -attraction, connection, communication, shared values, common goals- is actually a human being.

When we come to a certain age, all of our biology tells us to focus on finding a suitable mate and at some point we have spent so many years of our lives in relationships that we either want to settle down or give up “the search”. When we meet someone that lights the spark and meets our requirements we feel “complete” and ready to take it to the next level.

All of that is super distracting and as comfortable as it might feel the truth is that every person in this universe is unique and different so even if we are in a relationship with a partner that we qualify as suitable, in spite of all those things in common and the “love” we have for each other, we will still behave differently, react differently, approach things differently and just experience life differently.

I believe this is one of the greatest oversights in the history of relationships, we think that everything will be perfect because we love a person so much… but eventually and inevitably we will hit a rock spot where all the differences will seem to blow up and in many cases overpower everything else.

No wonder there are so many jokes and warnings about married life, it’s like we are blinded by nice feelings and once the juice of that is gone, reality strikes and we realize we don’t want the same things, even if once we thought we did.

But what happens? is the “magic” really gone after you get married? are you meant to just settle for struggles in the time to come? Like you’ve been sentenced to prison and you can’t escape?

I believe that we can have a healthy relationship and many happy moments together but we should watch out for perfection, it is a big delusion. Humans are not made for being perfect so letting go of expectations inside of a relationship can save us many trouble.

Expectations are created inside our own mind about the outcome of something that is neutral, yet if we don’t experience the result we fantasized about, we “feel disappointed, misunderstood, betrayed” and the problem starts… we want to control the outcome of the situations around us so we want to control the behavior of others just to guarantee our own comfort.

And as often as we might hear that releasing expectations leads to a peaceful mind, expectations are really hard to get rid of, specially because it makes perfect sense to your mind to have expectations when it comes to subjects you judge as very important.

Another factor that I find very important is that what we judge as important is completely subjective so it’s likely that we consider some things important where other people don’t and viceversa and even if we agree on many, it’s impossible to agree on everything 100%, I believe that inherently men and women consider different things as important and that is also something we should keep in mind.

As illuminated as I want to be, I think choosing a partner to share many years of your life with is a decision that comes with expectations already, when you choose someone to be a father to your children, instinctively you expect to have the basic needs covered so you can devote your body, mind and soul into bringing a strong and healthy human into life and making sure it survives until it can become a notable source of good for the world. Moreover once the child is born you expect your partner to give very bit of his soul into making sure the child is taken care of in every way.

As a woman you know you can provide shelter, food and support to your child by yourself, nothing will stop you… yet when you share that stage of life with a partner you want that person to be involved, the trick here is, what are the parameters you are setting for that involvement? what are you expecting the other to do?

I believe it’s support, support in your decisions as a being who is truly connected to life and all the universe in that moment. I haven’t experienced it yet but I believe that when you become a mother you transform into something else, you develop higher senses and you are granted access to the net of life, I picture something like what happens in the movie “Avatar” when they all connect to the tree and do a ritual together.

But with great power comes great responsibility and once you are part of that network you must learn how to balance your expectations and let your partner be. A man will never be able to embody and experience being a vessel for life, he can be touched and moved but not transformed as a woman will.

Are men allowed to be their same selves or do they need to immediately become the perfect role model of a father that will not think of anything else except his family?

I think that everyone has a different personality, people who are naturally responsible and proactive, people who are hyperactive, people who are slower and need a lot of practice at things, people who are family oriented and people who value their space alone. To expect a perfect behavior from a partner is to doom ourselves to unhappiness.

Having the freedom to choose our partner is a luxury that not everyone can afford, so whenever I feel discomfort due to a behavior that I deem not what I would want in that moment, I stop myself and let go, remembering that it is my choice to be here and now with this person exactly how he is, not with a fantasy of that person, with the real person that has it’s own thoughts, feelings and needs.

It is never a simple thing being in a relationship and I consider that it’s very important to remember that it’s not meant to be perfect, a person is not a machine that you can program to your every preference, yet with will from both sides and actual work you can achieve a balanced and sustainable relationship where you both can feel accomplished, seen, heard, valued and respected.

Be true to yourself and allow the other one to be…

-Cristina G.

Smiling Dogs

Going through my archives I just found this picture of Brandy!! a.k.a. Brandyna from 2012, she is the sweet companion of good friend and wedding filmmaker Oscar Nunez.

It’s wonderful and amazing how dogs and animals in general can lift your spirit.

I have always thought we would benefit a lot being more dog-like, authentic, living in the moment, loving, caring, playful, friendly, fierce, enjoying the simple things, living a simple and rewarding life, realizing all that matters is here and now and loving completely without boundaries.

Thank you animal realm for teaching us without words such valuable meanings, thank you for your existence because without you humankind would be lost.

Thank you to all the people who love dogs and animals, who take care of them and are able to understand that even if we don’t speak the same language (us and them) we are all part of the same family.

Love,

Kristina